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Season 1 Quotes - Season 2 Quotes - Season 3 Quotes - Season 4 Quotes

Season 3, Episode 1 Quotes

Roy: Let's do some role playing, okay? Do you think that would be a good idea?
Moss: It certainly helped me learn how to buy sandwiches.
(Roy trying to help Moss overcome bullying)
Roy: Dem glasses is sh*t, innit!
Moss: (Crying) It's too real Roy, it's too real!

Season 3, Episode 2 Quotes

(At the football game)
Moss: Great, he's kicked the ball. Now the balls' over there. That man has it now. That's an interesting development. Maybe he'll kick the ball. He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause.
Roy: How long do football matches last?
Moss: A billion hours, apparently.

Season 3, Episode 3 Quotes

(Jen on the phone with Moss)
Jen: What does IT mean?
Moss: What?
Jen: IT, what does it mean? Someones just asked me.
Moss: You don't know what it means?
Jen: No. I never thought to ask.
Moss: This must be Jen!
Jen: Yes!
Moss: Hello Jen! How may I help you?
Jen: Tell me, tell me what IT means!
Moss: Absolutely.

Season 3, Episode 4 Quotes

(A small black box with a red LED light on top is being looked at by Jen. Moss is beside her.)
Jen: What is it?
Moss: This Jen, is the Internet.
Jen: What?
Moss: That's right.
Jen: This is the Internet? (Moss starts nodding) ..the whole Internet?
Moss: Yep. I asked for a loan of it, so that you could use it in your speech.
Jen: It's so small..
Moss: That's one of the surprising things about it.
Jen: ..Hang on, it doesn't have any wires or anything...
Moss: (rolleyes) It's wireless!
Jen: Oh, yes, everything's wireless these days, isn't it? So I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?
Moss: Oh no, people will still be able to go online and everything; it'll still work.
Jen: Oh, good.
Moss: I tell you: you present this to the shareholders, and you'll get quite the response.
Jen: Can I touch it? (Moss nodding while Jen picks up the box) Oooh, it's so light!
Moss: Of course it is Jen! The Internet doesn't weigh anything!
Jen: (laughing) No, no, of course it doesn't!
(Roy entering the room)
Roy: (sounding irritated) Hey! What is Jen doing with the Internet?
Jen: Moss said I could use it for my speech.
Roy: Are you insane? What if she drops it?
Jen: I won't drop it, I'll look after it!
Roy: No. No, no, no, no Jen. (Takes the box from Jen.) No, this needs to go straight back to Big Ben.
Jen: Big Ben?
Moss: Yep. It goes on top of Big Ben. That's where you get the best reception.
Jen: I promise I won't let anything happen to it.
Roy: No, Jen, I'm sorry. The Elders of the Internet would never stand for it.
Moss: Oh no, I spoke to the Elders of the Internet not one hour ago, I told them about Jen winning Employee of the Month, and they were so impressed that they wanted to do whatever they could to help.
Jen: (supsciously) Wait a minute, the "Elders of the Internet!" (shockingly) The Elders
of the Internet know who I am!? You've got to let me have it!
Roy: No, Jen, I'm sorry, it's just too risky!
Jen: Oh, please, Roy!
Roy: Well, Moss, has it been completely demagnetised?
Moss: By Stephen Hawking himself. (To Jen) He sends his congratulations, by the way.
Roy: Well, if it's okay with The Hawk..
Jen: So, can I have it?
Roy: You can.
(Moss and Roy dramatically hand the box over to Jen. As she leaves, they begin to dance with joy.)

Season 3, Episode 5 Quotes

Jen: Can you two not use my e-mail address anymore, I've got a new one.
(Hands Roy a card)
Roy: Jenny Wenny At FriendFace? Oh no, you've not signed up with FriendFace have you?
Jen: Yes I have actually, why not? It's great. I joined last night and I've already got 30 friends.
Moss: Bahhh. Yes, let's all join FriendFace and become part of the herd. I don't think so.
Jen: Why not? They're terrific. You can catch up on old friends, you can flirt with people.
Moss: I've got better things to do that catch up with friends and flirt with people, thank you very much.
Jen: You can play Scrabble online with it.
Roy: It's just another way of shoving advertising in your face Jen, don't do it, you'll regret it.
Jen: It might be a great way to meet women, all the girls on 7 are on it.
Moss: I'm in!
Jen: What?
Moss: I've joined!
Jen: That was quick!
Moss: It's what you said about Scrabble, I'm in a game now.
Roy: I'm in! I've joined!
Jen: What about the advertising?
Roy: Oh, advertising doesn't have any effect on me, I just tune it out. So the girls on 7, Kimberly, she's on this?
Jen: Uh huh.
Roy: Oh cool, look! They've got this great little game on their homepage, you have to throw a little can of cola into a giant mouth, it's brilliant! God, I'm so thirsty!

Season 3, Episode 6 Quotes

Moss: I'm back!
Roy: What do you mean?
Moss: I'm back, from holiday.
Jen: You were on holiday?
Moss: Yes I was on holiday!
Roy: Oh, that's right.
Moss: You didn't know I was on holiday.
Roy: No, no, no, no, no. We did, where did, where did you go?
Moss: You didn't know I was on holiday.
Roy: No, we did, we did, we missed you.
Moss: I've been gone a week.
Jen: A week!
Roy: Wow.
(Moss walks out of the room in disgust.)
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